You’ll often wonder how to make a grieving relative or friend feel better. Over here, it’s more important for you to enhance your listening skills. Acknowledgement of loss is of great importance for the bereaved, although most of us try hard to avoid the name of the deceased person while talking about his absence.
At the best, you may share your views with the bereaved mentioning that his loved one will be remembered by all. The bereaved must learn to accept the reality; speaking a few things about his loss would help control his emotions and enhance his mental strength. When it comes to sharing the acts of the deceased, speak candidly and don’t bend away from the topic when you have the opportunity to mention his name. Don’t be nosy, but ask sensitive questions whenever it seems appropriate; this is likely to give a grieving person more opportunity to share his innermost feelings. Make sure you inquire if the bereaved is prepared to talk in front of others.
A few dos and don’ts might just help you cope with the situation:
- True feelings need to be acknowledged and accepted. The grieving person shouldn't feel bad about breaking down, getting angry and crying in front of others. Don’t try to show him what’s right or wrong. The bereaved shouldn't be scared of any criticism, argument or judgment.
- Be prepared to wait in silence. The grieving person may not feel like expressing his views right away; don’t press him too much in this regard. A simple hug, a soft touch or an eye contact might just help when you can’t think of other options.
- Let the bereaved express his views on the loss. The grieving person might need to repeat the same story time and again. Each time he narrates the death, he’ll actually accept and process the fact; the pain gets reduced every time he speaks.
- Make things comfortable without being critical. Share similar other experiences with the bereaved and let him know that what he’s going through is natural. Don’t compare your own grievances with his, don’t claim to know his feelings and don’t yield unsolicited advice.
Assisting a grieving person practically
Seeking help is often not possible for grieving people; it’s natural for them to feel depressed, scared of getting burdened, and guilty of acquiring extra attention. A few good suggestions might just make things easier for them; you may simply ask them whether you can help them by visiting the market on their behalf.
Standing by someone in times of emergency is of utmost importance; being consistent is often the key to your success. The grieving person gets a taste of your attentiveness without you showing your effort time and again. Whenever an open invitation is conveyed, it adds to the comfort of the grieving person. At the same time, you mustn't forget that the bereaved person doesn't feel the urge to get in touch with you when he needs a thing; you may consider checking things out on your own.